I'm Back

How cruel of me to leave this blog on my little niece's sickness and not tell you the results! It's a good thing only a handful of people ever read this blog! Anyway, she's a happy and healthy 2 year old who brings great joy to our family.

Been away from writing here for over two years. Geesh. Been thinking lately about how much I miss it. Plus, some nice people told me how they miss my writing. Oh, so sweet. I'll need to get a hand again on this blogging thing though so I ask your patience.

The idea to blog again came to me somewhat as a result of reading The Happiness Project. The excellent book encourages us to think about what makes us happy and/or what can make us happier. In thinking about such things, I realized how much I miss writing. It doesn't even matter if no one reads it. Somehow writing sooths my soul. So, I'm going to start it up again.

My life is so different from when I started this blog and even when I stopped writing it in November 2009. I'm sure those differences will reveal themselves as I continue to post. I'm still trying to work out/trying to be some kind of novice athlete. I'm still trying to be a good person. I still like to bake vegan and cook (although lately do both only rarely). I still value my friends and spend a good deal of time nourishing those relationships. But life never stops moving and changing, which consequently changes us. So, in many ways, I feel like a very different person while somehow still retaining the core of who I am. Ugh, I'm already feeling so boring! Alas, I guess it doesn't matter if I'm really only writing for me ;)

Other than starting to post again because I realized how much I missed it, I also want to start blogging again because it can be an excellent way to remember what most people remember without assistance. The summer that I graduated high school I was in a severe car accident. I suffered a head trauma that was as bad a concussion as you can get without going into a comma. There didn't seem to be any long lasting injuries at the time, but I (and friends and family) have realized over time that it had a significant impact on a specific kind of memory that I have great difficulty recalling. The recall problem is with lived events. I can remember almost every flower I was ever told the name of. I have great reading retention, especially with research studies. I didn't, however, remember that I attended the home run derby one year after I attended it. My partner at the time (with his infinite patience and sensitivity) reminded me the following year after he told me he recorded the home run derby for me and I asked how he knew I liked the home run derby so much. I was able to remember us going to the previous year's event, but only after he provided a few reminders. It always makes me so upset when I realize that I forgot something so big or important that I end up remembering it from that point on. So, I've tried to start a scrap book of sorts to remember things, but it isn't going very well. I decided I might do better with this sort of venue. I guess we'll see.

I mentioned the Happiness Project. One of the major points of the book is that it is unlikely you will follow your goals if you don't hold yourself accountable for them. Writing again is just one thing I'm doing as part of my Happiness Project. I'll likely blog about the others as a means of holding myself accountable for them so briefly here's a few things I realized so far make me happy and their associated goals.

• Reading at least one newspaper a day makes me happy. In fact, I especially love being able to comment to others about how I find particular news exasperating, sad, or uplifting. So, I've set the goal of reading a newspaper at least 5 times a week. Given that, you'll likely get some newspaper commentary here. You can skip it if you don't like that stuff.
• Working out greatly affects my mental health. In recent years I was able to maintain a work out schedule because I focused on racing events. I don't know if that's the best for me right now. Instead, I want to focus on working out with friends (My friend LC is so great for encouraging me to do this!) and exercising for both physical and mental health. I've had this crazy expectation that the only way I was really doing justice to working out meant that I had to do so 6 days a week (that was my schedule in my best training periods). What that has meant is that I would get so discouraged when I missed a day that I would get so down on myself that it would snowball into not working out at all. Hence, I've set a goal of working out three days a week. That's doable and I think that with that goal I might even work out more. We'll see. Again, you'll likely see me posting on my progress on this goal here.
• I realize that in order to be happy, I need to figure out how to accept/like/love my body. No easy task for most American women. So sad. Lately, I've been fighting my body and so upset with it, but a friend saved me. SB said to me earlier this week that always thinking you're too heavy results in becoming more heavy. Instead, she encouraged me to think about being healthy and maybe weight would come off slowly and naturally. Ever since, I've been trying to work with my body rather than against it. This mental shift has helped tremendously. Of course, it didn't hurt that she said I was already beautiful!
• Another source of happiness comes from spending time with my relatively new partner (9 mos.). I'm going to call him Bear in this blog because his friends say he's a bear of a man. He's so kind to me. He makes me laugh. I feel like I can be whoever I am at that moment with him. I've told him my struggles and he hasn't run. In fact, he's been a pillar of support. I guess I always thought there was something like destiny, but meeting him confirmed to me that the universe knows what it's doing. So, spending time with him is definitely a happiness priority, but that runs into a problem . . .
• I need enough sleep to be happy. Bear works night shifts. I work during the day. It is possible to not even talk to him Tuesday through Friday if I go to bed before he gets home because I have to leave in the morning for work before he wakes. Summer has been better, but this is a problem. I haven't figured out how to deal with this yet, but I'm going to have to work on it especially because without good sleep, it is very hard to keep up a regular workout schedule.
• I might have to drink alcohol a bit less to have all the other happiness goals met. (Mom - this doesn't mean I have a drinking problem!) When will I blog? Well, I likely need to do that in the evening. Okay, but it is usually in the evening that I have a few drinks with friends. Maintaining my relationships with friends is absolutely essential to my happiness. (Should have been its own bullet point.) So, I've decided I will need to do more breakfasts and lunches with friends rather than after work drinks. It will help that next week starts up an exercise group that works out in the evening and I plan to join it. Also, drinking sometimes can lead to sluggishness the next day, which leads to difficulty working out. You see, it can be an issue.

I don't just plan to blog about my Happiness Project goals. I guess we'll just see where this adventure takes me. Sometimes I just think like I'm writing, which I know is weird. So, those pieces will likely find a home here as well. All in all, as I forge ahead, let me know if you have suggestions! I'm glad to be back.